Bittersweet

That is the best description I can give of the events of the last week or so. Starting with last Saturday, one of my very closest friends, Allegra, was married to a wonderful and kind man. What a joyous and happy event . . . except that I was not able to be there. She had asked me months ago to be her Matron of Honor (and not sound to cliche, I was extremely honored). Then low and behold, we are having 4 babies, I'm not allowed to travel anymore, and so I did not get to attend. Allegra was my potluck freshman roomate in college. We were not two peas in a pod, we were not even that similar and to be honest I wasn't sure we were going to be friends. However, it turns out that our different personalities led us to be great friends and I think that because of our differences we have blessed each other in so many ways over the years. Allegra is an amazingly kind hearted and wonderful person, even if she doesn't want everyone to know what a soft heart she has:) I have seen pictures and it was beautiful wedding and I will always wish that I had been able to share in this amazing day with her, but one day, when she has babies, maybe I can make it to be a part of that (I ought to a professional baby caretaker soon!) I just want her to know how special she is and how much I appreciate the fact that she was so understanding.

Today, my baby brother, Jacob, graduated high school 300 miles away from me. (I will cry as I type this, so I will double check for spelling errors once the tears have cleared). Once again, unable to travel, I was unable to attend. I am the oldest of 4 kids and I have tried to be a part of all the major events in my brother and sisters lives even though I left home 10 years ago. I have traveled home to watch drill team performances, dance recitals, nutcracker performances, soccer games and of course graduations. I am so close to my siblings and it kills to me to miss out on anything. Missing Jacob's graduation today has been extremely hard, but once again I am so appreciative of how understanding he is. He told me when I called him earlier today (jokingly), "Don't sweat it, hopefully I'll graduate from college and you can come to that. I'll make sure I do it just for you." He will graduate college because he's smart and driven, not for me, but it was nice. I did get to attend his varsity soccer banquet a month ago (he was one of the captains of the team) where he received the MVP award!!! It was special to attend that and definitely more intimate than graduation would have been. He actually told me at one point when I was feeling sad about graduation," You got to come to the soccer banquet and I was like the valedictorian there!" What a positive spin. And on another positive note, my brother will be living in the same town as me to go to college in just a few short months. Both of my sisters are already here (going to college) and actually live right up the street! I am so excited that the four of us will be living in the same town again! It will only be for a year until Jessica graduates, but it will be the first time in 10 years that the four of us will live in the same town. I can't wait!!

My son, Jackson, is there representing the family though, so I guess I sent a piece of me. He is spending the week with Granna and Poppo which will make it easier for me to relax, but I miss him! I know it will be only too soon that I am in the hospital and will get to see him less, so while I am somewhat relieved to have the down time (it is tiring having him around even with people to help me) I am sad to give up this time with him. I know he is having a great time though.

On another joyous note, I was given a beautiful baby shower today by five very special women: Debby, Jana, Kelly, Whitney, and Whitney. These 5 women, as well as all the women who attended my shower, are such blessings in my life. I have unbelievably supportive friends, who despite their own busy lives and small children, have offered to help (and have already helped) in so many ways. I hope that one day I can return the favor, even if only in a small way. The shower brought us many diapers (yea!!), some great clothes (especially preemie clothes), very useful gift cards and several other much appreciated items. The hostesses gave us one of our double strollers which I am so excited about. I know we won't get out of the house much for a while, but strollers will make it possible even just to take a brief walk for some relief!! One friend also gave me her infant carseat to borrow (since she is currently not using it), so I think we only need one more infant seat too! And a couple of women were working on setting up meals for us (wow!) And still another amazing woman and friend is having a garage sale next weekend to benefit and assist our family financially. I don't know how I am so lucky to know so many wonderful people. I am amazed everyday by the generosity and kind spirits of the people in my life. I thank the Lord for the blessing of each of you!

Please keep up the prayers. Everything is still going well overall. We hit a small bump in the road this last week with a little episode I had. My OB thinks I may be having SVT's (tachycardia episodes) due to extra stress on my heart, but I am seeing a cardiologist Monday morning to get everything checked out and make sure that it is treated if necessary. I have felt pretty good over the last couple of days since my episode Wednesday night, so I feel good about it, but better to play it safe than sorry!

Now off to celebrate 6 years of marriage to an amazing man with a nice child free dinner. Really we're 2 months early on the celebration, but I will be almost 30 weeks pregnant and in the hospital by the time our actual anniversary rolls around.