Having a 2 year old!

I find great joy everyday in being the mother of a very high spirited 2 1/2 year old, but recently there has also been a lot of frustration and at times I think, "Really, God expects me to do this times four in a couple of years?!" I keep hoping that he has given me one or two with slightly more laid back personalities :)

Jackson is definitely in a very defiant and stubborn phase. If it weren't for the fact that he always hears things like "Do you want to go to the park?" or " Would you like some cake?", I would feel certain that he had gone deaf! Listening is not his forte right now and we have daily battles because of it. He is definitely a limit tester and if you tell him that he has to the count of 3 to do something, he will wait until 3 or until the moment right after 3! I am at a loss sometimes as to the right way to punish/reward him for behavior. He doesn't stay in time out (you have to physically hold him while he yells, "You're hurting me" or "You're squishing me.") Always fun when you are in public or better yet sitting in the hallway at church. He does kind of respond to being put in his room for some "alone time", but now that he can open the door you have to physically hold it shut, once again while he yells, "I stuck, I can't get out!" If you don't hold the door shut, he will come out, get just within your line of sight and cross his arms and look very mad in an attempt to make you feel bad for the way you have treated him ( I have to admit that I find this very amusing). We have tried taking things away. This mostly works, but you have to endure an even bigger melt down before you get the result you are looking for and he hasn't really grasped the concept that a sudden and immediate promise to behave better won't get you back whatever you lost. I have even resorted to occasional spankings because I am at my wits end and don't know what else to try (and most of you know that spanking is not really my thing). I don't think spankings are really working though, other than to either hurt his feelings or make him more angry. I do wait out the fits sometimes and let him get bored or realize that it's not getting him anywhere, but he can sustain a fit for awhile!!

Last Sunday, when we got to church (he knows he has to be quiet and good in church, not his favorite two things), he said, "I don't want to go see Jesus today!" It made me laugh, but I instantly knew that it was going to be a rough Sunday. Boy was I right, he behaved worse than he has ever behaved in church and he and I spent most of it in time out. He did eventually quiet down and got to to back into the church, but he pouted the entire time! Then, just last week he became very upset when his best friend had to leave our house and threw a huge fit. When he realized that they were gone and not coming back, he started screaming that he wanted to tell John bye. I offered to let him call John on the phone and say bye, but this was not an acceptable solution. He screamed off and on about this for an hour while I enjoyed some time in another room! When he finally calmed down about this, he then asked for a Dr. Pepper (caffiene free of course). I agreed, but then he pushed it one step farther and asked for two. When told no, he completely melted down again, spent a long time in his room and eventually became so angry that he kicked and hit me. (This of course did nothing to help his case). He lost his Dr. Pepper privileges which made him angrier at first, then he finally calmed down and accepted dinner and lemonade! The whole episode involved nearly 2 hours of straight screaming and crying, but once it was over, he was a totally different child and suddenly began asking permission for everything (which has carried over longer than I thought it would, though he is still not always happy to be told no). This episode I will say was caused by hunger. He becomes very unreasonable when he is hungry, but he was so worked up that I couldn't convince him to eat. Once he did, he was a different child!

If you are thinking, wow what an awful kid, he's really not. He is a challenge because he is so head strong and independent, but he is wonderful. I am struggling to figure him out and figure out how to be the best parent for Jackson that I can be, but we'll get there with time. For every moment like the ones described above, there are 10 amazing moments, like when he wakes up in the morning and says, "hi mommy" in a very soft voice then follows it with kisses, hugs and noses (this is what he calls eskimo kisses), or when he comes up to me randomly in the middle of the day and says, "Mommy, I want to give you kisses on your cheeks and mouthes." Or when we play a game and he will suddenly tell me, " Great job momma!" Or last night when (for a reason I don't remember) he suddenly told me "Good girl, mommy!" And one of the most endearing things is when he catches me getting emotional and sees a couple of tears on my cheek, he comes over and gets in my lap and tells me, "Mommy don't cry, don't be sad, be happy" and he sits and hugs me until he is confident that I am all better!

In addition to being rotten and sweet, he constantly makes me laugh too. Just this morning when I told him we needed to change his diaper, he told me. "No, I want to sit in my poop." He didn't actually have any poop in his diaper, it was just wet, but it made me laugh all the same. Or several weeks ago when asked to pick up his toys (which he did his best to ignore for a while) he eventually told me, "I too good to pick up!" I don't think he has a clue what this means, but it was quite funny and yes he did eventually pick up his toys when he realized there would be consequences. He has really become very silly recently and is starting to pretend. It is so much fun. You just never know what he will say or do to melt your heart or crack you up.

One pleasant surprise we had this last week, was a sudden interest in vegetables. My child is notorious for trying a vegetable, liking it okay, and then not eating it again for a month. Last week he ate broccoli, green beans and carrots (3 different days in a row) and then asked for broccoli on a day that we weren't having it! I'm not sure who this kid is. You just never know what you are going to get.

For all the mom's out there who have had, or do have two year olds, you are probably thinking, yes, she has accurately described life with a two year old, but it never ceases to amaze me. The highs are so high and the lows can be pretty low. It doesn't seem like there is ever an even keeled moment, but I guess that is what keeps it interesting. He is a blessing and a joy, but he does make me fearful of life with 4 two year olds. Next on our adventurous agenda is potty training! I'm sure that will make me even more fearful of 4 two year olds. Wish me luck (if I work up the courage to actually give it a try!)