The Hacker Five: I Love My Life

** I wrote this post on Monday, November 20th and the very next day, Kynlee broke her ankle, then we left for Thanksgiving and we've been scrambling to accomplish all of our holiday goals ever since, and so I never got the pictures posted and therefore I never posted this post . . . however, I needed this reminder today, as the last couple of weeks have been stressful with whiny kids, more tasks to do than I feel I can ever accomplish and feeling like somehow, even though it is probably not humanly possible, I should be able to pull it all off because I'm the mom and that's my job (sigh). Then I remembered this amazing day and I know that God gave me this day to get me through some of the not so amazing moments/days. So, onto the real post!**

November 20, 2012

I really mean it. I. LOVE. MY. LIFE! It's crazy and chaotic and LOUD, but it's perfect! I love it everyday, but today I just had this epiphany about how perfect it is. There was nothing special about today (we did decorate for Christmas, but this feeling started before that), it was an ordinary, busy day, but something just touched a cord with me. I really can't explain it and I know that my attempt to put this feeling in writing is going to be so inadequate, but I feel compelled to try. So many times, I feel overwhelmed, or tired or like I need a break, but today I just felt happy. Since I don't know where to start to describe it, I'll start at the beginning . . .

I had decided to take the kids to the mall today because there was a sale at the store where I buy my jeans and it ended today. It turns out that my all time favorite jeans are being discontinued so I bought them for the last time ever today and I'm little depressed about that, but I suppose it could be worse :-) We got up, I fed the kids breakfast, got them dressed and we were out the door by a little after 10. After finishing jean shopping, we headed to the food court for lunch (this was not part of my plan, but hey, we go with the flow here.) Lunch at Chick-fil-a in the mall by myself with all five kids went really, really well. Everyone did a nice job with minimal redirection/scolding from mom to get them to eat. It was pretty awesome, but nothing extraordinary. After lunch, Jackson wanted to find somewhere to play. I'll admit to being a little exasperated because I really wanted to hit one more store, but I decided it would be worth it, so we went to the mall "play place." I NEVER go to the mall, so I really don't know my way around it, even after 12 years. It amazes Clint! Anyway, we wandered looking for the "play place." The little ones were in the stroller and every time we went down a handicap ramp with the stroller, I let it go a little faster than I normally would because we were playing rollercoaster. Kids laughed and Gage would say "whoa!" while he giggled. I was as into it as the kids were! After finally looking at one of the mall maps, we realized that the "play place" was very close to where we started. We had just taken the "scenic" route!

Once at the "play place" I turned the kids loose, got a few questions from strangers and just watched my kids have fun. Gage was practicing jumping off of things with a dramatic and purposeful fall at the end. Jackson was being the monkey that he is. Brooklyn was swinging from a low bar and thought it was the greatest thing ever. Westin was trying it all! And Kynlee was being her cautious self, she would venture away from me for a minute and then come back to check in. I was loving watching everyone and a sense of complete and total peace came over me. A few minutes later, the kids had me out there with them watching, playing and engaging my attention. At one point, Jackson was yelling for me to watch him jump, Gage was yelling for me to watch him slide, Kynlee was in my arms begging me to spin her and Brooklyn was clinging to my leg begging to be picked up so I could spin her too. Westin was the only one that was not demanding my attention at that exact moment and somehow, this did not stress me out, it just made me happy and all I could think was, "LIFE IS GOOD!" Except that doesn't even describe it . . . what I realized is, that my life is PERFECT!! I mean that! Sure, tomorrow something will stress me out and I'll lose hold of the pure joy and happiness I feel today, but I'll have today to hold onto, to put in my pocket and take out to look at when tomorrow gets me down. To remember how I REALLY feel! Everything in my life is not easy . . . I have 5 very young children who demand so much from me, money gets tight now and then, I feel like I manage more things than should be demanded of one person, but when it comes down to it, none of those things matter. I have an amazing family and wouldn't trade any of it for easy! I LOVE IT! Everything about it! My good attitude lasted all day, I even warned Clint when he came home that I had had a wonderful day and he better walk in with a good attitude because I didn't want him to spoil it ;-) We had a few little listening problems and I lost my patience once or twice today and every time I would think, "great, now I'm going to lose this high that I'm on." But I never did! Maybe it'll last all week, who knows, but I sure look forward to another day, month, year . . . I can't wait to see what's in store and I'm so grateful for the perspective that God gave me today!

**I don't have very many pictures of this wonderful day. I guess I was too busy living it to take pictures of it and I'm not sure that's a bad thing, but it wasn't until I went to find pictures tonight, that I even remembered that we played outside after nap. Jackson took everyone of his brother's and sister's for individual rides on the 4-wheeler. He even tried to teach a couple of them to drive it themselves. Then everyone found a ride on toy and had a blast! It really was such a good day!**